A story was told that goes like this. A man looked through a window to view the scenery outside. He looked down and saw the lonely street that was muddied by the recent rising of the nearby river. He then went back to his bed with a feeling of heaviness of heart caused by what he had just caught a glimpse of.
Then came another man that looked also through the same window, but his eyes were focused upward to the clear night sky. There he beheld the stars sparkling like diamonds from afar. He then went back also to his own bed, feeling refreshed and happy as he anticipated the dawn of a new day.
Both men used the identical window to look outside, but why the great difference in the effects that gripped their hearts? Why there was despondency in the former case? While in the latter, on the other hand, there was a sense of encouragement?
It is obvious that the external circumstances of both men were the same. They lived in the same house, and had eaten the same evening meal on the same table. The difference between them was not on anything that could be found in their outside surroundings but in what was discovered in their opposite heart attitudes.
The above story illustrates the importance of guarding whatever is taking place in the deepest recesses of our thinking and attitudes. The key to understanding most of our problems is often found, not outside, but deep inside our minds and hearts.
THE BLAMING RUT
It is very easy to fall into the trap of negativistic attitudes when one encounters setbacks and failures. These attitudes could include blaming the people around you, your external circumstances, and your lack of many things.
One man may blame his parents and siblings for his failures. Another may pass the blame to his wife (or her husband) and children. Others may add their lack of money or education in the blame inventory. Others still may lay the blame on their so-called shortness of luck and misfortune. The list could go on and on to also include things as varied as the recent typhoon, the neighbor’s loud stereo, the household cat, the fire hydrant across the street, or anything under the sun that captures one’s ego and bad temper.
But blaming others for one’s failures doesn’t solve any problem. It usually works the other way around, in fact, and turns matter from bad to worst. It often creates friction in relationships and raises invisible walls of wounded feelings that separate families and friends. No one enjoys being lashed with blames whether warranted or not. Blaming often closes communication and is destructive in its intrinsic tendency. Below are basic and practical guidelines for handling your feelings to bring them to harmonious equilibrium.
ELEVEN TIPS FOR OVERCOMING NEGATIVITY IN YOUR LIFE
- Realize that as a human being you are not just your feelings and sentiments. You also have a mind (or reason) that should work hand in hand with your feelings. Finding the right balance between them will go a long way for discovering that peaceful and satisfying life that you long for.
- You must not allow your emotions, positive or negative, to have total control over your life at any moment. It is not accidental that our brain has been created and placed higher than the heart. This is a natural and essential hint of the fact that the brain (representing our mind) should govern the heart (representing our emotion) in our daily walk, and not the other way around.
- This is not to imply that your emotional faculty is per se bad in any way. No. But emotion, like a car without brakes, could bring you to disaster if allowed to run out of control. Cars are useful when they are used within proper speed limits and with fully functional brakes. They serve as vehicles to bring you to places that you want to visit. But we all know how disastrous a car could be that runs at breakneck speed with malfunctioning breaks. The same could also be said of emotions that run amuck!
- Emotion must always be regulated by reason. Positive emotions – such as happiness, feeling of ease, calmness, euphoria, etc. – are good and pleasant emotions. Be thankful when you are sailing in life in their company. Enjoy them with gusto whenever they are present. But a word of warning: DON’T DEPEND ON YOUR EMOTIONS, YES, INCLUDING YOUR POSITIVE EMOTIONS, MAKING THEM THE BASIS OF YOUR LIFE. Why? Because emotion is the most unpredictable of all things! It changes every moment!
A good, positive emotion that you feel now could change at any moment. You may hear a news report that could shoot your emotional high and bring you down unexpectedly. You may receive a telephone call from someone that could make you feeling dreadful the rest of the day. You cannot therefore build your life on the basis of emotion which is like shifting sands!
- Realize that your emotion could become your nastiest enemy if it is not governed by reason. Any action taken solely from a negative emotional drive, apart from the light of reason, could bring havoc to your life. Anger could lead to murder if allowed to have its way unchecked. Envy and covetousness could lead to gross immoral behavior and shame. Despondency could lead to depression and suicide. Beware therefore that you don’t allow emotions – particularly, negative emotions – to have absolute sway over your life.
- Realize that those bad feelings won’t stay forever. Yes, they won’t if you let your mind (or your reason) take control over them. There is no need to feel guilty or to blame yourself because of those bad feelings. Do you feel guilty, or do you blame yourself, because of the birds that pass over your head when you are strolling outdoors? No, of course. You should only blame yourself if you allow any of them to alight on your head and build its nest on it! The same could be said of bad emotions. Just allow those emotions to pass over when they come, but please, don’t allow them to nest in your heart and turn your life into a haystack!
- Be humble and ready to always admit your mistakes to yourself. Realize that you are a human being in the making! Recognize the fact that there is always enough space for self-improvement if you’re only willing to take responsibility for your life and actions. No, it’s not true that everything is too late for you or for anyone else for that matter. It’s how you view life and yourself and everything that makes your life a heaven or a hell! Be on guard of your inner attitudes, for they determine not only your mood swings but also the course of your life in many unexpected ways.
- Keep your communication channels open to your loved ones and friends and the world around you. Remember that you are not a lone planet in a starless sky. Yes, that must be so even if you are feeling the entire weight of your problems is pressing hard on you. Doors will open for you if you, in meekness, will but knock. The one that searches finds. The one that doesn’t quit in the long run wins!
- Be willing to accept change (or adjustments) whenever necessary. There is nothing bad in committing mistakes as long as you assume your responsibility for them, and you’re always willing to correct them when they’re brought to your attention. It’s when you begin to childishly imagine that you’re not responsible for your thinking and actions that often complicate matters. Such escapism closes the door to change and self-improvement, leaving you in the quagmire of despondency.
- It is very important that you feed your mind with healthful stuffs. There is a saying that you are what you eat. Another form of the same saying goes, “You are composed of what you put into your stomach.” Well if that’s true in the physical sense, much more it is so mentally and spiritually. You are what you think and feel. Therefore, focus your mind on things that are true, lovely, honest, just, and pure. Put away from your mind all lies, hatred, envy, bitterness, and all kinds of negativity. Since it is the mind that should regulate all your emotions as well as your body’s actions, it is necessary that you cultivate the habit of reading good books (or e-books). Books that inspire hope, love, and faith are always useful and helpful. Autobiographical and biographical literatures are also good, because you learn, not only from your own mistakes and failures but also from others’ as well. Remember that no man is an island. There is a real sense that everybody – both friends and enemies included – in one way or another – is your teacher. That is, you could always learn something from others' life experience to improve your own life. Only be humble and always keep an open mind. Be willing to learn from Life itself which is your best teacher!
- Last but not least is the supreme importance of a personal relationship with God. Please take note that I didn’t say the importance of religion or of church affiliation. What I said is the supreme importance of a personal relationship with God. Now God our Creator is spirit as to His essential nature. A personal relationship with God, Who is spirit, cannot be effected through physical means, such as by becoming a member of a religious sect or organization, or by undergoing a ritual, or any such things. There is only one way of entering into an intimate relationship with God, and that is through faith in His Son – the Lord Jesus Christ – Who died for your sins at Calvary’s cross, was buried, and was raised from the dead on the third day. Living and walking by faith in Christ is the greatest spiritual adventure that awaits you and that can make your life really joyful and meaningful. May God bless you.
No comments:
Post a Comment